Blog name change!

Hi! Long time, no see. I’ve let this blog fall inactive as I’m now working on my new sexual wellness blog, which will be taking on the old name “Teddy bares it all”. This blog will remain online as Teddy Eats It All (i’m aware of the irony) and may still be periodically updated, but from now on if you want to find my recipes remember not to google the old name – it will go to a very NSFW blog.

Thanks for following, and keto on!

 

Keto Oreo Cookies

Hi guys, just a quick post to explain the cookies I used in my instagram snap of icecream sandwiches. My partner Nic helpfully told me the recipe he uses at work is “the first one on google” so working from that, I found this recipe and substituted keto ingredients. The recipe makes 32 whole cookies, but I haven’t calculated the filling as I did not make one but I reckon some cream cheese and stevia wouldn’t be bad at all.

cookies

Recipes and macros for cookies only:

  • 1 1/3 cups Dutch-process cocoa powder
  • 1 cup Almond Flour
  • 1/2 cup coconut flour
  • 1/4 teaspoon salt
  • 2 sticks unsalted butter, softened
  • 2 cups granulated sugar substitute (I used splenda)
  • 2 large eggs
  • 1 teaspoon vanilla extract

 

Directions
1. Prepare the dough: Sift together the cocoa powder, flour and salt in a large bowl.
Using a mixer, cream the butter and sugar. Add the eggs one at a time, then the vanilla, incorporating each ingredient before adding the next.

2. Add the dry ingredients and mix just until incorporated, scraping the bottom of the bowl with a rubber spatula.
3. Divide the dough into 2 pieces; place one piece between 2 lightly floured sheets of parchment paper and roll into a 1/4-inch-thick rectangle. Repeat with the other piece of dough. Refrigerate both rectangles, covered with the parchment sheets, until firm, at least 1 hour or up to several days.
4. Using a 2-inch round cutter, cut the dough into 64 circles. (You can reroll the scraps once.) Place the cookies about 2 inches apart on ungreased baking sheets and chill for 20 minutes. Preheat the oven to 325 degrees.
5. Bake the cookies until they are set and slightly darker around the edges, about 20 minutes. Cool completely on wire racks.

Two cookies (without filling) works out to:

8g fat, 3g carbs (2g fibre), 2g protein and 99 calories.

BONUS ROUND: photos of Teddy Bar

I thought I’d lost all photos of my last batch on my old phone, but fortunately my partner had taken photos of the Teddy Bars he made for his cafe. As these ones were made for the general public they do contain dates (and possibly cranberries) but you can of course leave them out if you are watching sugar. They do look slightly more pale green in real life too, from the pumpkin seeds.

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Teddy Bar – a seed and nut protein bar

My partner has been amazingly supportive of my diet since we first started dating, to the point he has come up with a few recipe ideas for me. We share the cooking at home but as he is literally a professional chef I defer to his judgement for a lot of culinary decisions. One day he came home from work having created and sold a slice he had made to fit the keto diet – and named it after me. Hella romantic. It’s absolutely delicious and the pumpkin seed base gives it both the pale green colour and awesome protein boost. Originally made with dates, I’ve made this with dried blueberries and without any at all (like this base recipe). If you can fit berries into your diet then they make a great addition to this slice.

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RECIPE

  • 100 gram, Blanched Almond Flour (or whole)
  • 75 g(s), Seeds, sunflower seed kernels, dried
  • 200 gram, Pumpkin Seeds
  • 50 g(s), Seeds, sesame seeds, whole, dried
  • 50 g, Linseed (flaxseed)
  • 100 gram, Shredded Coconut
  • 200 gram, Peanuts
  • 4 tbs, Coconut oil
 1. Toast half the pumpkin seeds with your almonds, linseed, sesame and sunflower seeds.
2. Toast the other half of the pumpkin seeds with your peanuts, the coconut oil and shredded coconut until it forms a smooth paste.
3. Mix your paste with the toasted seeds and any berries you want to add. Press mixture into a lined tin. Flatten the top by putting weighted baking paper on it.
4. Chill to set and cut into 12 bars.
38g Fat, 4g carbs, 15g protein in 437 calories.

Keto Creme Egg

So Easter, one of the most indulgent holidays of all, is extra challenging for those of us living without sugar. Usually I skip it entirely, but this year I was determined to have my own chocolate orgy. In particular I was obsessed with making a dupe of the famous Cadbury Creme Egg. After a lot of frustration, experimentation and way too much Lindt, I pretty much kinda pulled it off. TADAAA!!

 

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Yes I totally wrapped my own creation in someone elses wrapper, what of it?

Making the chocolate shells was relatively easy. Just buy some plastic moulds off the internet, melt your chocolate (I used lindt 85% and Guylian no sugar added dark) in a double boiler and pour into moulds. There was a bit of trial and error involved in this but I eventually got some serviceable hollow shells for my creme eggs and actually made a large hollow egg as well.

 

finished eggs

They look rough as guts but as my sculpture tutor once said “your technique is terrible but you get there in the end”. The unpolished finish did not affect the taste (delicious).

 

comparison

This is once of my eggs on the left compared to real actual creme egg. The texture isn’t quite the same (probably due to erythritol) but super satisfying and only 100 calories.

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Maria’s coconut based filling

 

I tried a couple of different fillings, this one is a coconut milk based one from Maria Mind Body Health’s own Creme Egg recipe. It was suitably thick but I hated the coconut flavour. I’m not big on coconut at the best of the times and it was just too strong in this. My mother loved it though and the whole bowl disappeared when I wasn’t looking.

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Low carb Maven’s Pastry Cream

My partner (the chef) suggested I try out a creme pattisserie (pastry cream) as a filling. I found a recipe by Low Carb Maven and made the starch free version. Unfortunately I either didn’t cook it long enough or it really needs starch to come together, because it turned out too damn runny even after overnight refrigeration. It was however TOTALLY DELICIOUS and pretty good as a creme anglaise.

pastry cream

So frozen pastry cream is actually amazing as keto icecream

I chucked it in the freezer and it magically turned into a semi frozen parfait type situation. Not very crystally at all, and actually with a delightful creamy texture like real icecream. I had used Torani French Vanilla Sugarfree Syrup (from Simply Syrups) to bring out the custard flavour even more, so I ended up with a delicious keto french vanilla ice cream. AWESOME.

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Hollow shells with the buttercream filling I settled on

I eventually stumbled across a buttercream candy recipe from Low Carb Yum that worked perfectly for both consistency and flavour. I added some white chocolate Sugarfree Syrup to make it even tastier and the end result was glorious. Unfortunately by this point I had consumed so many ‘testers’ that I only ended up eating one finished creme egg and giving the rest away. Anyway, here’s the macros as best I good estimate theme. The better eggs weighed about 6g unfilled, while some of the thicker ones probably had a bit more chocolate. I used mostly Lindt 85% because the servings are more generous for carb counts. I made four servings, here’s the macros per serving:

100 Calories, 10g Fat, 2g Carbs, 1g Protein.

I know. 2 carbs. 100 calories. Best easter since going sugarfree. 😉

REVIEW: Isocream Protein Icecream

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So after seeing a buzz about Isocream on social media for a while, I’d been desperate to try this amazing sounding product – 21g protein in only 170 calories, with less than 1g carbs and it’s ICECREAM?! That sounded like something I could get down with. Especially when I saw they had teamed up with Justine’s protein cookies to produce a cookies and cream flavour. I love Justine’s products and thought this had to be the perfect combination.

After tracking down a stockist (not easy, had to go to the city’s dodgiest gas station on Church Street in Onehunga) I paid the expectedly high price to obtain a wee container of this magical substance. They had the chocolate and coconut flavours too, but I chose the cookies and cream I had been lusting after. Here are my thoughts:

 

1. FLAVOUR

Nailed it. Absolutely nailed it. If you close your eyes it tastes just like any other cookies and cream icecream. Obviously an artificial flavour but still delicious.

2. SERVING SIZE

Pretty much perfect for the amount of calories. A satisfying size for a snack, or even half a meal (if you are on 1200cal a day like me most meals are between 300 and 400). I didn’t feel like I could go for another right after, the way that some diet products leave you feeling.

3. NUTRITION

As I said above, the macros on this are fantastic. The flavour I chose had 169.4 cal, 21.1g protein, 4.9g fat and less than 1g carbs. This product does contain xylitol but it didn’t seem to kick me out of ketosis or cause a weight bump.

4. TEXTURE

Unfortunately this is where things go a bit pear shaped. Upon initial inspection the icecream was extremely crystallized and grainy (similar to FroPro, another local protein icecream with similar macros). Once it had warmed a bit it developed a smoother texture – unpleasantly slimy in fact. I immediately thought it had the distinct gloopyness of anything with too much xanthum gum in it, lo and behold Isocream lists xantham gum as a thickener.

isocream

The texture as it melted. Sorry for my crap phone photo.

One of the best things about cookies and cream icecream is usually finding the delicious texture contract of chunks of biscuit in the smoother icecream. The chunks of protein cookie in this product were too small, so they basically disintegrated and just became flecks of colouring that were impossible to distinguish from the rest of the icecream once inside my mouth. Much Sadness.

5. PRICE

Can’t remember exactly how much I paid for it but it was around the $6.00 mark. It’s $9.95 for a 500ml tub on their site, which is two servings so it works out to about $5.00 a serving if you buy direct (not including shipping). A little on the pricey side but pretty much standard for this kind of specialty product.

 

CONCLUSION

While I loved the idea of getting my extra protein from icecream, the limited availability, price and texture probably means I won’t be purchasing again. If it were available in supermarkets I might give the other flavours a go because I am a sucker for novelty. If you are desperate for icecream, try the New Zealand Naturals Zilch. It doesn’t have the protein but it will satisfy that craving and is useful in making desserts extra special. On lazy days I have been known to just chuck coconut flakes right in the tub and go to town on it. A word of warning on Zilch; my sister swears it gives her the hot snakes (bowel problems) and refuses to touch it. I have experienced no such issues.

If you really want a high protein icecream, try making your own at home. I have plans to work on a hand churned recipe myself but in the mean time you can take the path of least resistance and try my Faux Frostee for instant gratification.

 

 

 

Teddy Kibbles (keto snacks on the run)

My family and partner have taken to calling food that I can eat “Teddy Kibbles”. After two years on Keto, I have a few reliable products that I know are keto friendly and available in a pinch. These are specific to Auckland, New Zealand, but may be available in other countries. Other keto products are out there but these are the ones I personally find edible.

A note on sugar alcohols: Malitol and other sugar alcohols are often present in commercial sugarfree products. Some people find this will spike their blood sugar and take them out of ketosis. I have never had this problem, and as far as I know it hasn’t hurt my progress. I still prefer to use Stevia as a sweetener whenever possible. If you are sensitive to malitol’s laxative effects exercise restraint with these products (a whole box of atkins bars in one go will ensure an all night toilet performance).

 

SWEET

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Horley’s Carbless Crunch

Really delicious protein bars with a rice crispy texture. These can be found in supermarkets in the health food section. Rocky Road is the best flavour. Calories 172, Fat 7g, Protein 16g, Carbs 7g

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Horley’s Carbless Delight

 

Not as awesome as the crunch bars but smaller and cheaper. Much more noticeable protein flavour and texture. Raspberry cupcake is the best flavour.  Calories 115, Fat 4g, Protein 9g, Carbs 3g

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Atkins Caramel Nut Chew Bar

Seriously better than a snickers bar. Tiny serving and high price makes it a bittersweet moment. Pretty much all atkins products are delicious this is just my favourite one. 130 Calories, 8g Fat, 5g protein, 2g carbs

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Healtheries Sugarfree Salted Caramel Dark Chocolate

Tasty little treat. Also expensive for the size but sometimes available in gas stations like BP. Calories 100, Fat 6.6g, Protein 1.1g, Carbs 1.1g

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Justine’s Protein Cookie

Best protein product in NZ in my opinion, and made here too! White chocolate raspberry is delicious, but the chocolate fudge and choc chip are great too. A little calorie heavy so more of a meal than a snack. Found in most supermartkets and some gas stations. Justine’s also makes amazing brownies but they are only available online. Calories 244, 13.8g Fat, 16.6g Protein, 1g Carbs

SAVOURY

Pretty much any sort of nuts (almonds are best), meat or cheese will get you through in an urgent hunger situation. Avoid sausages and even eating the inside of sausage rolls or mince pies as they have fillers.

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Verkerks Snack Sticks

Available in gas stations and some supermarkets, these are the ideal meaty snack. High in protein, low in carbs and full of delicious spicy flavours. Chorizo is better than the biersticks. Calories 157, Fat 20g, Protein 9g, Carbs 2g.

 

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Nobby’s Pork Crackle

Pork crackle used to disgust me, but it’s so hugely featured on r/keto that I eventually tried it. Not bad, but have plenty of water handy. Very filling for a small amount of calories. Also check out Caveman Keto’s caramel pork crackle cereal. No really, it’s delicious. Calories 130, 7g Fat, 16g protein, 0g carbs.

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Quest Protein Chips

I don’t know how they did it but Quest made edible protein chips. Just like potato chips but somehow low carb. Black sorcery, I suspect. In any case they are reasonably tasty and satisfy that crunch craving. Also helpful in the quest for protein gainz. Unfortunately I have only found them online and in health food shops at exorbitant prices. Calories 120, 2g Fat, 21g Protein, 5g Carbs

 

List will be updated when I try new products. I’ll bet posting a list of where to eat out as well later on.

Keto Chia Pudding

This is an easy breakfast/dessert that can be adapted to include a lot of different flavours. I often go with vanilla and cinnamon for breakfast. Today I tried to scrape a vanilla pod into it with limited success because my hand eye co-ordination is just not that amazing. Still tastes good.chiapudding

RECIPE

  • 3 Tbsp- Chia Seed
  • 1 cup, Almond Milk Unsweetened
  • 1 tbsp, Heavy Cream
  • 3 g (1 Teaspoon), Natural Sweetener

 

  1. Mix all ingredients and chill for as long as you can stand. Overnight for best results, 20 mins should do it though. If you have no time at all just blend it.