Blog name change!

Hi! Long time, no see. I’ve let this blog fall inactive as I’m now working on my new sexual wellness blog, which will be taking on the old name “Teddy bares it all”. This blog will remain online as Teddy Eats It All (i’m aware of the irony) and may still be periodically updated, but from now on if you want to find my recipes remember not to google the old name – it will go to a very NSFW blog.

Thanks for following, and keto on!



Keto Oreo Cookies

Hi guys, just a quick post to explain the cookies I used in my instagram snap of icecream sandwiches. My partner Nic helpfully told me the recipe he uses at work is “the first one on google” so working from that, I found this recipe and substituted keto ingredients. The recipe makes 32 whole cookies, but I haven’t calculated the filling as I did not make one but I reckon some cream cheese and stevia wouldn’t be bad at all.


Recipes and macros for cookies only:

  • 1 1/3 cups Dutch-process cocoa powder
  • 1 cup Almond Flour
  • 1/2 cup coconut flour
  • 1/4 teaspoon salt
  • 2 sticks unsalted butter, softened
  • 2 cups granulated sugar substitute (I used splenda)
  • 2 large eggs
  • 1 teaspoon vanilla extract


1. Prepare the dough: Sift together the cocoa powder, flour and salt in a large bowl.
Using a mixer, cream the butter and sugar. Add the eggs one at a time, then the vanilla, incorporating each ingredient before adding the next.

2. Add the dry ingredients and mix just until incorporated, scraping the bottom of the bowl with a rubber spatula.
3. Divide the dough into 2 pieces; place one piece between 2 lightly floured sheets of parchment paper and roll into a 1/4-inch-thick rectangle. Repeat with the other piece of dough. Refrigerate both rectangles, covered with the parchment sheets, until firm, at least 1 hour or up to several days.
4. Using a 2-inch round cutter, cut the dough into 64 circles. (You can reroll the scraps once.) Place the cookies about 2 inches apart on ungreased baking sheets and chill for 20 minutes. Preheat the oven to 325 degrees.
5. Bake the cookies until they are set and slightly darker around the edges, about 20 minutes. Cool completely on wire racks.

Two cookies (without filling) works out to:

8g fat, 3g carbs (2g fibre), 2g protein and 99 calories.

BONUS ROUND: photos of Teddy Bar

I thought I’d lost all photos of my last batch on my old phone, but fortunately my partner had taken photos of the Teddy Bars he made for his cafe. As these ones were made for the general public they do contain dates (and possibly cranberries) but you can of course leave them out if you are watching sugar. They do look slightly more pale green in real life too, from the pumpkin seeds.


Teddy Bar – a seed and nut protein bar

My partner has been amazingly supportive of my diet since we first started dating, to the point he has come up with a few recipe ideas for me. We share the cooking at home but as he is literally a professional chef I defer to his judgement for a lot of culinary decisions. One day he came home from work having created and sold a slice he had made to fit the keto diet – and named it after me. Hella romantic. It’s absolutely delicious and the pumpkin seed base gives it both the pale green colour and awesome protein boost. Originally made with dates, I’ve made this with dried blueberries and without any at all (like this base recipe). If you can fit berries into your diet then they make a great addition to this slice.



  • 100 gram, Blanched Almond Flour (or whole)
  • 75 g(s), Seeds, sunflower seed kernels, dried
  • 200 gram, Pumpkin Seeds
  • 50 g(s), Seeds, sesame seeds, whole, dried
  • 50 g, Linseed (flaxseed)
  • 100 gram, Shredded Coconut
  • 200 gram, Peanuts
  • 4 tbs, Coconut oil
 1. Toast half the pumpkin seeds with your almonds, linseed, sesame and sunflower seeds.
2. Toast the other half of the pumpkin seeds with your peanuts, the coconut oil and shredded coconut until it forms a smooth paste.
3. Mix your paste with the toasted seeds and any berries you want to add. Press mixture into a lined tin. Flatten the top by putting weighted baking paper on it.
4. Chill to set and cut into 12 bars.
38g Fat, 4g carbs, 15g protein in 437 calories.

Keto Creme Egg

So Easter, one of the most indulgent holidays of all, is extra challenging for those of us living without sugar. Usually I skip it entirely, but this year I was determined to have my own chocolate orgy. In particular I was obsessed with making a dupe of the famous Cadbury Creme Egg. After a lot of frustration, experimentation and way too much Lindt, I pretty much kinda pulled it off. TADAAA!!



Yes I totally wrapped my own creation in someone elses wrapper, what of it?

Making the chocolate shells was relatively easy. Just buy some plastic moulds off the internet, melt your chocolate (I used lindt 85% and Guylian no sugar added dark) in a double boiler and pour into moulds. There was a bit of trial and error involved in this but I eventually got some serviceable hollow shells for my creme eggs and actually made a large hollow egg as well.


finished eggs

They look rough as guts but as my sculpture tutor once said “your technique is terrible but you get there in the end”. The unpolished finish did not affect the taste (delicious).



This is once of my eggs on the left compared to real actual creme egg. The texture isn’t quite the same (probably due to erythritol) but super satisfying and only 100 calories.


Maria’s coconut based filling


I tried a couple of different fillings, this one is a coconut milk based one from Maria Mind Body Health’s own Creme Egg recipe. It was suitably thick but I hated the coconut flavour. I’m not big on coconut at the best of the times and it was just too strong in this. My mother loved it though and the whole bowl disappeared when I wasn’t looking.


Low carb Maven’s Pastry Cream

My partner (the chef) suggested I try out a creme pattisserie (pastry cream) as a filling. I found a recipe by Low Carb Maven and made the starch free version. Unfortunately I either didn’t cook it long enough or it really needs starch to come together, because it turned out too damn runny even after overnight refrigeration. It was however TOTALLY DELICIOUS and pretty good as a creme anglaise.

pastry cream

So frozen pastry cream is actually amazing as keto icecream

I chucked it in the freezer and it magically turned into a semi frozen parfait type situation. Not very crystally at all, and actually with a delightful creamy texture like real icecream. I had used Torani French Vanilla Sugarfree Syrup (from Simply Syrups) to bring out the custard flavour even more, so I ended up with a delicious keto french vanilla ice cream. AWESOME.


Hollow shells with the buttercream filling I settled on

I eventually stumbled across a buttercream candy recipe from Low Carb Yum that worked perfectly for both consistency and flavour. I added some white chocolate Sugarfree Syrup to make it even tastier and the end result was glorious. Unfortunately by this point I had consumed so many ‘testers’ that I only ended up eating one finished creme egg and giving the rest away. Anyway, here’s the macros as best I good estimate theme. The better eggs weighed about 6g unfilled, while some of the thicker ones probably had a bit more chocolate. I used mostly Lindt 85% because the servings are more generous for carb counts. I made four servings, here’s the macros per serving:

100 Calories, 10g Fat, 2g Carbs, 1g Protein.

I know. 2 carbs. 100 calories. Best easter since going sugarfree. 😉